Matching Language
Coaches can match their client’s language patterns. They can match key words, phrases and other language patterns such as the use of particular metaphors.
Coaches pay attention to the language or words used by clients as they usually convey the true feeling, meaning or emotion of the spoken word. The way people understand, interpret and experience their situation is conveyed through the language and vocabulary they use. Language patterns can often provide clues to the level of intensity of someone’s feelings, beliefs and emotions.
Example 1:
As usual, this useless group of idiots have blown it!
Example 2:
I am furious that my team has totally let me down again.
Example 3:
I am disappointed that my team has not performed as I hoped.
The vocabulary that clients use can provide an invaluable insight into their thinking, values and beliefs. One client might use overly intense words to describe a situation whilst another client facing the same situation might use much less intense words.
The language some clients use sometimes clouds their objectivity and understanding of a situation. Rather than contradicting the client which would emphasise difference, coaches can match through the use of paraphrasing and summarising. This has the effect of allowing the client to hear back what they have said which sounds familiar to them. It also enables them to reflect on what they said and often simply ‘playing back what they said’ helps to bring more objectivity to the situation.
Example:
Client: As usual, this useless group of idiots have blown it!
Coach: I can sense how angry you are about this. When you say ‘this group of idiots have blown it’ who do you mean and what have they blown?