Qualities of Effective Listeners
Coaches need to be effective listeners. Effective listeners typically possess the following six key qualities:
Qualities of effective listeners
Respect
A coach listens with respect for what a client has to say. This should be the case even if it is slightly boring, it has already been said or it contradicts what the coach knows or believes to be true. Whatever is being said at that moment is important to the speaker. Communication should be mutually beneficial, and each party is entitled to expect respect from the listener.
Genuine interest
When we are listening to a client, we take the role of a coach, but coaching is not an acting part. A coach needs to demonstrate to their client that they are for real. A good listener shows that they are really interested, really care and are really committed to their client.
Empathy
Seeing the world through the speaker’s eyes, means to ‘feel with’ the person, rather than ‘feel like’ them. Coaching is about listening from the client’s perspective. When a client knows that the coach understands at this level, they are much more likely to continue and take the conversation to deeper levels.
Gaining clarity
We may listen to our clients expressing all sorts of vague notions and ideas. They may come to us not knowing what they want. Indeed, the first thing that clients often need help with is formulating their goals. A good listener can clarify vague and muddled ideas and help the speaker to be more specific. A good coach shows clarity in his or her own thinking.
Mental agility
A good listener will be able to reflect the essence of the conversation, to succinctly describe the situation. In doing this, the coach is feeding back to the client what they have said. This alone often helps the client to see the situation differently. For example, it may enable the client to see an unwanted truth. Understanding of the dynamics of the conversation, knowing where you are at a point, requires practice. ‘Dancing in the moment’ describes this well.
Timing
Timing is knowing when to ask another question or leave it, when to remain silent, when and how to interrupt.
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