Matching Through Non-Verbal Communication
Non-verbal communication consists of all the messages other than words that are used in communication.
In oral communication, these symbolic messages are transferred by means of intonation, tone of voice, pace of speaking, vocally produced noises or ‘fill-ins’, body posture, body gestures, facial expressions or pauses.
Everyone communicates using a combination of verbal and nonverbal communication behaviour whether intentional or not.
Aspects of non-verbal communication
Intonation
Intonation is the way that a person’s pitch of voice rises and falls when speaking. For example, it shows others whether the person is expressing their message in the form of a question or a statement.
In the first case, the voice rises at the end of the phrase or the sentence and in the second case, it falls. At the same time, intonation indicates the end of an entity of information, which – in written communication – is shown by means of a comma, semicolon, point, exclamation mark or question mark.
Another function of intonation is to lay emphasis on a particular word or idea.
- John beat the dog (surprise that it was John)
- John beat the dog (shock about beating)
- John beat the dog (rather than the cat!)
Tone of voice
The tone of voice is a means by which people imply their attitude to the message. It is also a means by which people can seek a reaction from others. In a political debate, for instance, the tone of voice is likely to be rousing, whereas on television the daily news is communicated in a more factual tone.
Other examples of tones of voice are: aggressive, critical, nervous, disappointed, monotonous, concerned, friendly, enthusiastic, vivid, persuasive and excited. Coaches can detect how clients feel from the tone they adopt, for example when gauging a client’s commitment to an action plan.
Example 1:
Coach: So we have a plan to move forward with this issue. How comfortable are you with the plan?
Client: Yes. I can see that it will move things forward (using a hesitant tone)
Example 2:
Coach: So we have a plan to move forward with this issue. How comfortable are you with the plan?
Client: Yes. I can see that it will move things forward (using a confident tone)
Example 3:
Coach: So we have a plan to move forward with this issue. How comfortable are you with the plan?
Client: Yes. I can see that it will move things forward (using a resigned tone)
Activity: the power of non-verbal communication
This exercise demonstrates the power of nonverbal communication. Say out loud the following sentence, looking into a mirror: “It’s a nice day, isn’t it?” Now repeat the sentence, but this time attach three different emotional messages through the way you convey it. Example 1: Read the sentence to convey a feeling of happiness Example 2: Read the sentence to convey a feeling of sarcasm Example 3: Read the sentence to convey a feeling of anger Each time notice the change in the tone of your voice, your expression, the speed you are speaking. Also notice the expression on your face, if your eyes are fully open or partially closed, if you have more or less tension in your face, especially your cheeks. |
Pace of speaking
Some people speak slowly and others more quickly. People who speak quickly often find people who speak slowly irritating and vice versa.
Vocally produced noises or ‘fillers’
Dialogue often includes vocally produced noises that are not regarded as part of language, though they help in communication for the expression of attitude or feeling.
Vocally produced noises include laughter, shouts, screams and other ‘fill-ins such as “ugh!”, “mmmm”, “aha”
Body posture
Body posture should not to be confused with body gestures which are movements. Body posture can be characteristic and assumed for a special purpose or it can correspond to the normal expectations in the context of a particular situation. Whether you are sitting or standing is part of your body posture.
Normally, these are not the elements of posture that convey messages. However, when the speaker is slouched or erect, or has their legs crossed or arms folded, such postures convey a degree of formality or relaxation.
Body gestures
A body gesture is a movement made with a limb, especially the hand, to express, confirm, emphasise or support a person’s attitude or intention.
This nonverbal activity is regularly used in oral discourse. If a body act requires no verbal accompaniment, it is called an ‘emblem’. Examples are hand signals such as waving good-bye, the ‘V’ for victory sign or the ‘High five’ signalling victory.
While some emblems, for example a clenched fist, have universal meaning, there are others that are idiosyncratic or culturally conditioned. The use of the zero-shape made by the fingers, for instance, does not mean the same thing in different cultures. Standing for ‘OK’ in the UK, it may be a vulgar expression in South American cultures, sometimes embarrassingly so. Body gestures are always perceived and interpreted together with facial expressions.
Facial expressions and eye movement
Facial expressions are dynamic features which communicate a person’s attitude, emotions, intentions, and feeling. The face is the primary source of emotions.
During oral communication, facial expressions change continually and are constantly monitored and interpreted by others.
Examples are a smile, a frown, a raised eyebrow, a yawn or a sneer.
Eye movement is a key part of facial behaviour because the eyes are invariably involved in facial displays. The different forms are observed to be cross-cultural.
The frequency of eye contact may suggest either interest or boredom or may even betray dishonesty.
The direct stare of the speaker can show candour or openness. Downward glances are generally associated with modesty; eyes rolled upwards are conveyed as a sign of fatigue.
Eyes tend to show happiness, sadness or even surprise. The lower face can also express happiness or surprise; a smile, for instance, can communicate friendliness or cooperation. As for the upper face, brows and forehead are known to reveal mostly anger.
Pauses
A pause can have two different functions:
It can be a brief suspension of the voice to indicate the limits and relations of sentences and their parts. A pause then assumes a similar function to intonation.
It can consist of a temporary vocal inaction revealing a person’s uncertainty, hesitation, tension or uneasiness. In this context, a pause can also be judgmental by indicating favour or disfavour, agreement or disagreement. Consequently, the nonverbal cue of a pause can give rise to problems when interpreting it because its meaning can vary considerably. It can have a positive or negative influence on the process of communication.
Coaches can match any one or a combination of these nonverbal behaviours.